Trying to lose weight has been a part of my life almost as long as I’ve been alive. That’s a long time, considering I’m in my early 50s
When I was a little girl, I wasn’t overweight. Looking at photos from my childhood, I can see that I was actually a very healthy weight and not the fat girl I thought I was.
Here are some photos from my ‘fat’ childhood:
As far back as I can recall, my father was always on my case about my weight. He would sometimes threaten to make me run down the street by chasing me with his car. I never felt like I was good enough for him, and I believed his skewed perception that I was fat.
When I look at my childhood photos, I have no clue why he thought I was fat, other than his misguided notions of what a woman should look like. He once told me that I should weigh only 100lbs and wear a size 7 or 8!
I was curious about what my height would have to be for this to be a healthy BMI. 4’10” to 5’1″. That’s it. For the record, I am 5’5″ tall, and the healthy weight range for that height according to BMI is between 114-150lbs.
I wasn’t far off when I told my father I’d have to be dead and decomposing to reach that goal!
Being a child who wanted to please and not one to argue or be outwardly rebellious, I did the only ‘up yours’ thing I could do without getting into trouble…eating. I would stuff myself silly at meals, and also sneak food and eat it in my bedroom.
The reasons weren’t a conscious decision, but I see now that was what was going on in my brain on a subconscious level. First, I was ticked off and was going to show him what fat was, and secondly, the feeling I got from eating food was almost the only time I felt happy.
Not unexpectedly, I began gaining weight.
Through those years of slow weight gain, I tried diet after diet…shakes, cardboard meals, only eating specific foods at specific times, low-fat, pills, supplements…you name it, I probably tried it.
Nothing worked, and I was miserable. I kept gaining weight and when I wasn’t dieting, I was eating a lot of fast and junk food.
One of my favorite treats in my young 20s was baking up a batch of chocolate chip pan cookies, and when they were fresh out of the oven cutting out a huge piece, topping it with a huge scoop or two of my favorite ice cream and drowning it with chocolate or caramel sauce, or even better, both! Whipped cream was always an option, too.
Yep, I had some spectacular eating habits!
Once I was close to 300lbs I knew I needed to change things, and I slowly began cutting back on fast food and eating healthier meals.
As I gradually made changes, I started losing a little weight. I still maintained my old habits, though not as bad.
Dieting was an event for me, and I would go on them a few times a year. These were never viewed as serious lifestyle changes; instead these diets were short-term solutions to lose weight and then I could go back to my normal way of eating.
I gradually realized that I had to change my point of view in regards to dieting. It could no longer be something temporary, following meal plans that were difficult to stick with for very long. There was no miracle pill to melt the weight off while I ate what I wanted, no matter how unhealthy it was.
Whatever I chose to do, it had to be something I could live with because it HAD to be permanent. I would have to find a healthy way of eating that worked for me that I could live with for the rest of my life.
That journey led me to discovering keto, and keto has become more than a hope or a detour or a temporary diet to me. This became a choice to LIVE a healthy LIFE. I am choosing.
What is probably the biggest element to my choosing this is that I am not blindly going along with popular trends to follow weight loss, or taking what my doctor says as absolutely correct.
I am taking charge of my health, and I am researching and reading and listening. In the years since I discovered keto, I’ve been learning and adjusting and am thrilled that I have discovered a way of living that works for me and that I can do for the rest of my life.
And I know this is a cliché, but it’s very true…If I can do it, you can too! And if you need help, I’d love to coach you on your journey as you choose to live a healthy life. You can find out more about my coaching packages at my coaching page, linked in the top menu.